Buffalo Mozzarella, NY

Realizing that we had two days off in a row on both our work schedules, Patrick and I recently made a quick trip down to Buffalo. We had considered escaping to a beautiful place like Niagara-on-the-lake or going on a drive through rural southern Ontario, but our need for beer won out so upstate New York it was.

Even though people like to criticize Buffalo for being a bit of a dump, I thought all the old buildings and churches were quite beautiful. It’s strange, though, how many houses and warehouses are abandoned and all boarded up. I kept on asking Patrick if everything felt so different because we were in the US, or because I was telling myself, we’re in AMERICA! In a lot of ways, I find that whenever I end up in the states it feels a bit like the twilight zone — everything looks familiar and I understand the social queues more or less, but some intangible quality seems slightly off.

At any rate, after taking pictures of ‘imported’ Labatt Blue signs and foggy steeples, we managed to arrive at Premier Gourmet in the final days of its big moving sale. On one hand this was fortuitous, as everything was marked 20% off, on the other hand, much of the selection had been picked over…Admittedly, the variety was still awe-inducing for us, so we shopped til we dropped and tried to push past our dangerously high heart palpitations.

Between PG and Village Beer Merchant we dropped a decent amount of dough, and then headed out to a few bars and restaurants in an effort to eat until we hated ourselves. At “Fat Bob’s” I asked how big the portions were and the waitress assured me that they “weren’t named Skinny Bob’s”, so we shared one behemoth pulled pork sandwich with a side of macaroni and cheese swimming leisurely in oil. I should mention at this point that the one night, I repeat the ONE NIGHT we are in Buffalo with the chance to try Dogfish head and the like on tap, I had a head cold and congestion so bad I literally couldn’t taste a thing. I couldn’t smell or taste and each time I ordered a beer Patrick had to explain the aromatics and flavours. It was sort of heartbreaking. Each one was like a fine alcoholic club soda…

I think it’ll be nice to return to Buffalo when the new and improved Premier Gourmet is up and running, and when we’re living a lot closer (Niagara). God knows if Ontario will ever have a private liquor store with that kind of beer selection, but until then, my pagan pilgrimages will be made to “The City of Good Neighbours” where people call ‘hoppy’ beers, ‘haappy’.

And aren’t we all ‘haappy’ when drinking hoppy beers?

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On Eating Humble Pie

I will admit that when we first started homebrewing I found the process fairly confounding. It’s not that I couldn’t wrap my head around the basic principles of fermentation — the combination of active yeast and sugary treats for said yeast — or that I didn’t enjoy the undertaking, simply that I found it difficult to differentiate between significant and insignificant steps in the affair. With no scientific background (save the two intensive years of highschool chemistry with an ice-queen teacher so terrifying I still have nightmares about her…) I was forced to approach things with the attitude I’ve come to adopt in life generally, one characterized by the fact that everything matters. This is not always the smartest approach.

All this to say we’re not suddenly experts, nor is the process a breeze, but things have become considerably easier, and with each new brew we learn an immense amount of practical knowledge. Almost hilariously now, when we begin a brew day we laugh at the previous one, making fun of how much it sucked when we did that sucky thing! Or many sucky things!

For example, we now have a malt mill so that Patrick isn’t forced to fill Ziploc bags with grain and crush it with an Erdinger bottle employing a rolling pin motion. We also ‘filter’ the beer before it goes into primary so that if we do decide to rack to secondary, the wand doesn’t constantly get plugged up with the swamp muck/bog water/sludge monster that is suspended hops and proteins.

Another reality, and our friend who brews on a commercial level confirmed this too, is that no matter how much prep you think you’ve done, some unforeseen problem always arises. It’s never something you anticipated could go wrong and I imagine that a brewmaster’s ability to troubleshoot these inopportune issues on the spot, without forfeiting or contaminating an entire batch is just one of the deciding factors that separates the good from the okay.

Ultimately though, the point of these blog posts is to refer my meandering ramblings back to OUR beer, so let me talk a little bit about our last few brews. After The Hoppy Adventure (which was a malt extract brew) we did another malt extract beer, a chocolate espresso (from our local cafe Capital) oatmeal imperial stout, that was a disaster. I will talk about it another day though, when we see how well the yeast we re-pitched into it fermented…

The next beer was our first all-grain, a very traditional (read, don’t try to stick any god damn chocolate and oatmeal in there for kicks) german hefeweizen. We called it The Blind Woman and though it was a bit grainy tasting, as far as the efficiency of fermentation goes, it was quite successful. After consulting the two sources I read/listen to most on brew days (John Palmer’s “How To Brew” or podcasts, and The Mad Fermentationist blog) we decided not to rack to secondary, and bottled soon after the first stages of fermentation were complete. The beer was pretty enjoyable fresh and though I had flip flopped back and forth over whether or not I liked it, I just shared a bottle with Patrick and declared it pretty good. It has changed a lot over time. Unfortunately, and for reasons I still don’t fully understand, the head retention was particularly bad, which never looks good on a wheat beer.

The next two beers after that were brewed in close succession (2 beers in 3 days), and though neither are bottled I feel confident about them. The first was a simple gallon batch of India Brown Ale, the second a 5 gallon batch of hoppy saison. Neither have been named, but both are moving along nicely, having been dry hopped last week, ultimately waiting to be bottled this Tuesday. I’m worried less about these guys because I don’t feel that we royally screwed anything up. I would actually go as far as saying we done good. This is progress, folks.

Going forward I know that these batches will one day seem so crappy and unrefined, but I’m totally okay with that. We’re at a certain level right now and everything we’ll learn at school or from our bosses will change that. I suppose all I’m trying to get across is that as a brewer (however amateur), you’re constantly learning how to do things (more) efficiently, creatively, or put quite simply — better. (Don’t worry mom, that wasn’t me saying I want to be ‘more better’, just better).

There are so many variables in brewing that can go awry but I’m trying my best not to ruminate on any one mistake. And let me tell you, [me] not dwelling on mistakes is sort of a huge deal. What is my stupid point anyways, you ask? Am I going to spiral into some sort of self-obsessed period of enlightenment and try to publish a book called “Zen And The Art Of Brewing: My Fermented Path To Self Discovery”? No…unless I could actually make money off it.

Documenting our successes and failures along the way means we may never get to brag Sam Calagione style and say that our first beer, dry-hopped with lizards was a total success! It also gives us some sort of foundation to build from — one that will, further down the road, (hopefully) help to show how much we’ve improved.

So, I guess that means that one day I’ll have to tell you about the time Patrick tried to carbonate a stout with PopRocks…

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Model Citizens

I really have no reasonable explanation for why we: a) haven’t posted anything lately, and b) documented ourselves walking down Queen street drinking a Maui Coconut Porter — but these are just some of those open-ended questions you can ponder wistfully along with the meaning of life. To be honest, we both work a lot and just started new jobs so, I dunno, lay off me! (I’m starving).

Maui Brewing Co. makes a lot of beers specific to the ‘terroir’ or land of Hawaii, which is a practice in beer I’m really interested in. The Mana Wheat uses “Maui Gold Pineapple”, the Coconut Porter “hand toasted coconut”, and so on. Ingredients venture into ginger, smoke, and even onions. I’m not sure what I think about that last one, but tying beers to a specific landscape is something I hope to do here in Canada. I think it gives a little more geographical identity to a brew, and ensures that it’s not so ubiquitous you could brew it anywhere in the world. 

The great thing we realized about this beer — and my mom’s really gonna love this one — is that it looks like an energy drink or one of those chinese coffees, so as long as you drink it with conviction you don’t look suspect. 

This is the second Coconut Porter from Maui we’ve enjoyed (a gift from our friend Billy!) and it was decidedly more coconutty this time. Perhaps a bit warmer is why. I find the body to be pretty thin which makes it pretty sessionable, I suppose. There are some nice roasty and toasty malt qualities, and overall it’s good but not great. The fact that it’s described as “like hot chicks on the beach” only confuses me. Maybe it’s dry-hopped with babes. 

There was one minor casualty…


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Punk Ass IPA

Patrick and I have separated off several beers in our collection to drink before real summer hits soon. We’ve basically made a Need To Be Drank List with low ABV brews and stout/barleywines sitting at the top. We’ve had this Brewdog Punk IPA since December and, like me, it’s not getting any younger.

The past few days here in Toronto have been gorgeous (though chilly), and we’ve done our best to walk around the hood and absorb all the sunshine. Today we went to Sorauren Park and shared a little Post Modern Classic Pale Ale. Admittedly, the name is a little gaggy, but we both enjoyed the contents of the bottle. It’s also a bit weird to drink a relatively ‘normal’ sort of beer from a brewery that loves EXTREME styles, having provided us with the The End of History and Sink the Bismarck. No taxidermy animals encasing this one…

(If you want a good read, check out this post on how Flying Dog and Brewdog are teaming up to brew a ‘zero IBU IPA’. I didn’t think that was possible, but Brewdog certainly isn’t a brewery to shy away from seemingly insurmountable circumstances).

There was lots of fruit in the aroma that carried into the flavour — tangerine, mango, and perhaps a bit of floral lavender. A touch of malt in the nose but very little when we sipped it, just lots of citrusy hops — exactly how I like my IPA’s. In Vancouver (where we bought this bottle) they sell the Punk IPA in 4 packs, and I can totally understand why. This is a beer I’d like to have a couple of.

A punk I found in the park.

I encourage seeking out Brewdog beers whenever you travel outside of Ontario, even though (I think) certain releases veer off into gimmicks. The reality is, Brewdog still produces lots of quality beers (this one, 5 A.M. Saint), and in doing so, earns the credibility to attempt risky and sensational limited releases.

At any rate, try to track down this IPA — it’s delicious and easy to drink, and Scottish!

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Methode de Charlevoise

When Patrick suggested that we drink the Charlevoix Sainte Reserve Brut on a recent sunny afternoon, my first reaction was, “But we have to wait for a special occassion!” The irony is that it was pretty special, being sunny and warm in the middle of March (in TORONTO), but I think there’s something to say for enjoying rather than hoarding your beer collection.

We travel far and wide risking soaked luggage and aggressive boarder crossing guards to get beer back to Ontario. (And when I say aggressive I mean separating the two of us and then interrogating us about our relationship to one another.

“Who is that guy?” 

“My boyfriend.”

“Oh yeah. Really?”

“Yes.”

“You sure about that. He’s your boyfriend?”

“Yes, unless you got him to break up with me in the last 20 seconds?”)

There’s also something satisfying about looking at a stacked wall of hard-to-find-beer and simply admiring all the work that went into seeking them out. And yet, that’s hardly the point of making and drinking craft beer. I recently read an interview that touched on this, where a brewer urged consumers to simply enjoy the beer rather than treat it like some precious commodity. Sure, it’s precious, but only if you’re gonna open the damn thing.

All this to say we opened the damn thing, and enjoyed the shit out of it. I really don’t like champagne and prosecco but using the ‘methode de champenoise’ in beer seems to produce a delicious beverage. I really loved that as it warmed a little lots of great yeast flavours came through.

So go on and enjoy those beers you’ve been saving because you can always find others. You will find others. If you need to, call me and I’ll hold your hand as you sob about ‘the one that got away’.

I’ll introduce you to some real nice floozies in our fridge.

We only hug for pictures.

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In Like Sin

I know posting around these parts has slowed a bit in the last two weeks but there was my birthday, a family member in the hospital, and the continuation of Patrick’s stubborn resolve to work every day of the week so…(give us a break).

There have been a few exciting events that transpired over the past weeks, and I want to recount them here for you in bullet form:

1. I ate ramen, twice, because I’m that obsessed with it. Tonkotsu both times, if you’re curious.

2. We managed to track down the two new LCBO releases we were most excited about — the Charlevoix Lupulus, and Panil Barriquée Sour. I got ID’d and told the guy that most underage kids probably don’t splurge on $15 bottles of beer. He didn’t think I was very funny.

3. We finally made it down to Thirsty and Miserable in Kensington and had a fun night. Katie is a rad bartender and beer slinger extraordinaire. Also, who knew King Pilsner was so good?

4. We tried a bottle of our newest beer, The Blind Woman german hefeweizen. I think we’re both pretty proud of how it turned out. Aside from some issues with head retention (bring on the podcasts) it’s a delicious tasting and smelling brew. I’ll post a review asap.

5. Oh yeah, and…

WE GOT INTO BEER SCHOOL!!! You know that thing we’ve been hoping for, for so long? That goal we moved back to Canada to pursue? Come September we’ll be successfully moving our way through: The Art of Shotgunning 201 (our experience dictates that we can skip 101), Hop Assault: Shoving more hops into your hoppy IPA 334, and Maximizing Your Keg Stand Potential 190.

No. Big. Whoop.

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You Are What You Drink

Despite all my efforts to stall the clocks on my aging process, this past Thursday I turned another year older. I don’t like big parties or plans, preferring to go the route of eating and drinking until I’m well past the point of satisfied (so stuffed I could yak). My only requests of Patrick this year were that on my special day we could eat dessert at least twice and drink a very delicious beer. Luck would have it that we were given a Pliny in the same week, so my choice was easy. I guess the Charlevoix Dominus Vobiscum Brut will have to wait…

The reality of beers as hyped up as this one, is that invariably you’re gonna approach them with some fairly high expectations. I will start by saying that we were both really surprised by the flavours of Pliny. Maybe I hadn’t read enough about what it really is, but as we divided the prized bottle between two glasses, I was thinking that this beer was going to blow our minds. Being (arguably) one of the best American IPA’s, if not the best, I figured the flavours would be aggressive, the hops puckery, the aroma intensely citrusy. I had all the terms favoured by American breweries floating around in my head — SLAM, BOMB, AGGRESSIVE, ASSAULT, IMPERIAL — as if hops really do jump out of the beer and punch you in the face, and expected The Great Elder to be a vessel for it all.

But I was wrong, and I’m glad. Pliny The Elder isn’t reinventing the wheel, it’s more like a really perfect wheel. A wheel that turned out to be very delicious.

The colour in the glass was quite light, honey and golden. The aroma was definitely floral, with subtle tropical and citrus fruit like mango and orange. The flavour was much more subdued than I’m used to with American IPA’s, with a bitterness that lasts all the way through and trumps the malt character. The balance of hops and malt is perfect, which is nice for an 8% beer. It’s also quite easy to drink, I found that despite trying to savour what I knew was a very valuable brew, I was downing my small glass quickly.

My thoughts, in summation, are this: Pliny the Elder was an excellent beer, a perfect representation of the style, but not mind blowing (as Patrick and I would both argue the Fat Tug from Driftwood is). I’m so glad we finally had a chance to try it, and I’ll use it as a point of reference from now on when drinking IPA’s.

Two elders being old.

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I promise I’m not going soft on y’alls

In preparation of my looming birthday, I decided to take this lazy day off and make some beery cupcakes. I had looked over some recipes that used stout, and others that used Belgian style wheat beers like Blue Moon or Hoegaarden, and decided that I’d prefer the vanilla base. I love stouts but I don’t love chocolate cake that much, and this is my damn birthday after all so I get to call the shots. 

I don’t ever buy Hoegaarden so I decided to go with the best option in the fridge: Erdinger. Not Belgian but effervescent and delicious. Being a wheat beer and all it was fairly difficult to get a proper volume measurement with all the head. In the end I had to skim a bit off the top.

I made the whole recipe from scratch which probably wasn’t the best idea considering I’m not the most skilled baker. When I pulled the tray out of the oven the tops of the cakes looked…shiny? At any rate, not like they’re supposed to.

I made a quick cream cheese frosting with a little bit more beer and then iced to my heart’s content. Verdict: They taste like beer and I’m not so sure that’s a good thing. Beer should taste like beer. Cupcakes should taste sweet. I suppose I underestimated the more citrusy/coriander notes of a Belgian wit and substituted the Erdinger without really anticipating the final flavours. 

All in all they’re not bad, and let’s be honest, I won’t have any problem polishing them off but meh, not my finest work. Maybe tomorrow I’ll try the damned stout ones and tell you how that goes.

Or maybe I’ll never write about cupcakes again so help me God. My apologies. 

Just concealing a mouthfull of frosting…

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Black Valentine (belated)

Last week Patrick and I went to the Black Oak Valentine’s day beer and chocolate party at their brewery. Being embarrassingly unfamiliar with the territory that lies beyond downtown, I will admit that we were a little uncertain as to how to get there. I’ll spare you the riveting details but it took a while, and I am now more intimately acquainted with the far reaches of Etobicoke!

Unfortunately for me, there was no chocolate to be found once we showed up, but still plenty of beer, (thank God). Considering I’m the kind of disgusting person who polished of an entire bag of Ruffles chips and some Reeses peanut butter cups last night in the time between finishing work at 3:00am and arriving home at about 3:25am, I really do ‘appreciate’ chocolate. Just so you know.

I drank many a pint of nut brown, while Patrick seemed to favour the double chocolate cherry stout on cask. Fabian from Only suggested we make a nut stout? Chocolate brown? Neither or these sound good in theory but are the brainchild of a true mixologist. You put two together to form some sort of bond made in holy matrimony. Trust him.

I think all of our pictures from brewery tours or events like these tend to look like some sort of meditation on industrial design. There are fermentors and more fermentors, and oh look! Some lauter tuns. It’s a nice to drink beer right at the source. From the natural springs, of course. I think the process is something like drilling for oil…

The event was fun and we managed to bum a ride home, avoiding the treacherous weather and ttc. Next year I recommend a few more bars of chocolate and all will be well. Thanks to Black Oak for putting on a swell beery event!

Having a super serious talk with brewer Jon. Probably about chemistry.

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Sour Romance

This year for Valentine’s day, in the ultimate demonstration of romance, Patrick dropped by my work with a nice bottle of beer. The customers had long since left and with the restaurant empty we filled two glasses with the beautiful Bam Noire from Jolly Pumpkin and toasted to another year together. 

I’m not planning to enlighten anyone with this next statement, but, Jolly Pumpkin makes a great beer. At 4.3% this dark farmhouse ale is far lower in alcohol than most beers we’ve been drinking, but it allows for more subtle flavours to come through. I used to joke that anything under 5% wasn’t worth it, and yet, in the last year I’ve definitely come to revoke that claim. This night was a perfect example of when I’d like to crack open a bottle of something delicious and light(er). I had just finished work, it was somewhere in the range of 2am, and I hadn’t eaten so much as a morsel in ten hours. Drinking a heavy stout or barleywine would have knocked me out.

But let’s get back to this delicious beer. I was expecting something much heavier and malty, but was surprised at how light and fruity the first sip was. The aroma was simple, a bit tart, with faint cherry. Perhaps some yeast on the nose as well. The flavours were smoother and sessionable, showcasing a great balance between cocoa and coffee with dried stone fruits. Think, plum, cherry, dates. The sourness was not very aggressive, but again, that restraint contributed to the overall appeal of the refined and accomplished beer. I have to say that I thoroughly enjoyed this bottle more than almost any beer in recent memory (save, perhaps, the Supplication). 

Patrick reminded me that this was probably one of Jolly Pumpkin’s lesser beers, the stars being ones like Oro de Calabaza and the prized benchmark of sours, La Roja. Too bad these beers are so hard (impossible?) to get in Ontario…

A great Valentine’s day libation, an absolutely delectable beer in general. I cannot recommend it highly enough. On now, to Michigan!

All gone?

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